What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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