You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
