nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it's like iHOP with fire
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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