my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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