I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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