so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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