Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
lets start a swedish sibling band together
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
17 year olds will be the death of me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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