Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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