i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
