my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
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There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize