i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
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and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
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Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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