Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
