those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
