The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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