I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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