Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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