I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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