Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
