If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
a search helicopter?!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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