She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
