I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
