I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school