it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.