grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
