road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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