So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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