The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment