Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling... http://tfl.nu/2wcp
  Replies (9) Good night (1044) Bad night (4932)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE! http://tfl.nu/hm6x
  Replies (7) Good night (1141) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Touche.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door? (910): That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating? (770): Touche. (910): I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR. http://tfl.nu/rwye
  Replies (6) Good night (3932) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper. http://tfl.nu/6qsz
  Replies (10) Good night (2063) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  3pm strippers are depressing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): 3pm strippers are depressing http://tfl.nu/w12t
  Replies (19) Good night (855) Bad night (1827)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that. http://tfl.nu/gjrr
  Replies (11) Good night (4825) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures. http://tfl.nu/5q46
  Replies (2) Good night (1030) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will. http://tfl.nu/oylu
  Replies (9) Good night (1132) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess. http://tfl.nu/epre
  Replies (10) Good night (2021) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way. http://tfl.nu/f0qk
  Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life http://tfl.nu/rmnc
  Replies (4) Good night (455) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow. http://tfl.nu/poey
  Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink. http://tfl.nu/xadi
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  How high are you exactly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis (828): How high are you exactly http://tfl.nu/wb80
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (173)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight. http://tfl.nu/pfpe
  Replies (1) Good night (741) Bad night (167)

Randomize