Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack http://tfl.nu/9hdw
  Replies (32) Good night (1433) Bad night (4851)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight. http://tfl.nu/rb6t
  Replies (93) Good night (6916) Bad night (2266)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story. http://tfl.nu/6m1s
  Replies (14) Good night (1146) Bad night (2926)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me http://tfl.nu/r4q8
  Replies (12) Good night (1169) Bad night (7066)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice http://tfl.nu/pivk
  Replies (8) Good night (3670) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship. http://tfl.nu/snem
  Replies (6) Good night (2361) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it. http://tfl.nu/82ee
  Replies (8) Good night (2632) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again. http://tfl.nu/qrkv
  Replies (4) Good night (1407) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken http://tfl.nu/q5lf
  Replies (5) Good night (804) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows http://tfl.nu/eaw6
  Replies (5) Good night (1739) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat. http://tfl.nu/b8sz
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (1665)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science. http://tfl.nu/0s8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1467) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??! http://tfl.nu/4zc8
  Replies (4) Good night (794) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!" http://tfl.nu/u3lh
  Replies (1) Good night (762) Bad night (177)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  nobody was home so I boiled the dildo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): nobody was home so I boiled the dildo http://tfl.nu/brzp
  Replies (8) Good night (466) Bad night (274)

Randomize