it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
BRING THE BAGELS