Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.

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  (202): Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain. http://tfl.nu/eu7i
  Replies (2) Good night (1299) Bad night (654)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.

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  (563): My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night. http://tfl.nu/lmn5
  Replies (14) Good night (1380) Bad night (4459)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.

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  (416): I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny. (905): Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night. http://tfl.nu/j8pa
  Replies (13) Good night (4489) Bad night (1091)
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  (760): View more from California

  Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...

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  (760): Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom... http://tfl.nu/f7p5
  Replies (18) Good night (1550) Bad night (6430)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now

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  (318): I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now http://tfl.nu/xdsb
  Replies (15) Good night (5715) Bad night (1776)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I can already almost taste penis in my mouth

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  (916): I can already almost taste penis in my mouth http://tfl.nu/o1w6
  Replies (10) Good night (2432) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!

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  (860): You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS! http://tfl.nu/g8vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1418) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex

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  (949): And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex http://tfl.nu/q2uq
  Replies (7) Good night (2844) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.

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  (850): It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order. http://tfl.nu/7w8i
  Replies (4) Good night (2236) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?

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  (919): I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright? http://tfl.nu/bgy5
  Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume

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  (402): Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band (312): Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume http://tfl.nu/sqqx
  Replies (19) Good night (2946) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.

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  (+44): Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process. http://tfl.nu/j8pd
  Replies (1) Good night (689) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.

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  (817): Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks. http://tfl.nu/jci6
  Replies (3) Good night (331) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging

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  (212): Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging http://tfl.nu/88q4
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear

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  (781): Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear http://tfl.nu/iszh
  Replies (4) Good night (233) Bad night (549)

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