i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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