It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
