Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
