Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize