when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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