JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
