No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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