Please, let me fuck your mom
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize