Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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