I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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