so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
