No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
