Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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