I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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