she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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