Buhtt sex?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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