So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
How does one acquire holy water?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
