just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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