she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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