hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
