made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize