Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
