I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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