ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
