the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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