there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
