we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
