well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
