im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
