Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
