As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Mom said you looked used
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
