I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
True strength comes from lack of pants
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
