Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize