this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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